The Man Rules
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- Fresh on the boat
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:23 pm
- Location: Andaman Islands
The Man Rules
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side....
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. .
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Hockey.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Keep Smiling
Ashraf
From the female side....
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. .
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Hockey.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Keep Smiling
Ashraf
do not speak unless you can improve the silence......
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- Veteran
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- Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 3:18 pm
- Location: Bangalore
- Contact:
Re: The Man Rules
Good one Ashraf. That was a bullseye man:)
- nagarifle
- Old Timer
- Posts: 3404
- Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:43 pm
- Location: The Land of the Nagas
Re: The Man Rules
i just was thinking that i was having a good dejview or something like that.
http://indiansforguns.com/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=8736
http://indiansforguns.com/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=8736
Nagarifle
if you say it can not be done, then you are right, for you, it can not be done.
if you say it can not be done, then you are right, for you, it can not be done.
-
- Fresh on the boat
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:23 pm
- Location: Andaman Islands
Re: The Man Rules
thanks prabhath !
a classic case oh history repeats itself nagaraifle, my apologies for posting something that u already had posted
a classic case oh history repeats itself nagaraifle, my apologies for posting something that u already had posted
do not speak unless you can improve the silence......
- nagarifle
- Old Timer
- Posts: 3404
- Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:43 pm
- Location: The Land of the Nagas
Re: The Man Rules
no apologies need, as great minds think alike happend to me as well few timesashraf wrote:thanks prabhath !
a classic case oh history repeats itself nagaraifle, my apologies for posting something that u already had posted
Nagarifle
if you say it can not be done, then you are right, for you, it can not be done.
if you say it can not be done, then you are right, for you, it can not be done.
-
- Fresh on the boat
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:23 pm
- Location: Andaman Islands
-
- Old Timer
- Posts: 2973
- Joined: Wed May 31, 2006 7:28 pm
- Location: US
Re: The Man Rules
What delusion amigos lets hail and make merry before SWBO steps in ( She who must be obeyed )
Cheers
Cheers