The Unbearable Madness of being a Bawa.

[Mack The Knife]

I have often wondered: Are Bawas really mad? Of course this question only lasts for a nanosecond. Because even a cursory glance at some of my brethren is enough to convince me of the answer.

I mean, what else would you call someone who parks his beloved motorcycle in his third floor living room? Or someone who has three-tier armrests on his commode so that he can read his morning newspaper more comfortably? Or someone who makes a large loop of his pajama string and slips it over his head every time he has a bout of diarrhea, for quick release, in emergencies?

Of course we're mad! In fact we inspired the famous Jack Nicholson movie. It was originally going to be titled: One Flew over Cusrow Baug. What remains to be understood is why exactly are we like this?

This is a question that has bothered me on many hot summer afternoons when I feel the insanity bubbling up inside me like some slowly fermenting Dhanshak.

After all, I too have felt the urge on occasion: To donate umbrellas to all the Parsi statues in Bombay so that their dignified phetas (traditional Parsi head-gear) are not exposed to the callousness of pigeon ****.

To run around Dhobi Talao trying to change as many double-decker bus numbers to 66 (or whatever your most used bus number) as is humanly possible in one entertaining hour.

To convince my poor friend Rustom (name changed to protect his insanity) that they were going to ask him to recite the entire Bombay Telephone Directory in his English Poetry Oral Exam.

Most of the time I can put this predisposition towards madness down to "having a slightly different sense of humor." But when I delve deeper, I find that there are other dimensions to our madness as well.

Like my granduncle who would only wear a shirt once and then give it away to the poor (The Madness of Charity).Or the man who returned a gold brick during the harbor explosion at Bombay Docks (The Madness of Honesty). Or the aunty who thought the TV repairman was trying to throw rays at her (The Madness of Paranoia).

I also wonder about other dimensions to our oddness.

Like why are there so many grown Parsi men who live with their mothers?and why are there so many grown Parsi women who prefer not to live with grown Parsi men who live with their mothers? Like why are we so obsessed about cleaning our cars and motor cycles? And where on earth did we get our accent? And why do we cover our fish in banana leaves? Is it to protect their modesty?
Or is it to prevent them from hearing the scandalous gossip at our traditional Parsi lagans (weddings)?

Whatever the dimension, there is no doubting one thing. Our madness is a gentle, harmless, twittering kind of madness. The kind that makes other people smile and twirl their index finger at forehead level indulgently.

But after years of introspection and self-analysis I find I am still unable to answer that essential question. "Why are Bawas mad." Perhaps it is simply to entertain ourselves? After all, we haven't got Parsi TV yet.

A scientific friend of mine thinks we are mad because of inter-breeding. He could be right, but sometimes I think the answer is too boring for the Parsis. I prefer my more romantic friend who claims "we are mad because if we were not, we would be truly insane, I think we are mad to protect us from the sane"

Regards

Rustomji Pestonji Sodawaterbottleopenerwala

[airgun_novice]

And it's the same madness that made a Bawa who was insulted by the British, build the Taj ! I mean who in his right mind would build such a magnificent edifice just to spite the Brits ? It's the same madness that would make another Bawa build a truly family car for under a lakh of rupees or 1.25L these days. Who in his right mind would do it ? It's probably the same madness that gave India its first Field Marshal and some spine to the armed forces in form of ol' boy Sammy. Viva la Bawa Madness !

Good writeup though - helped release some pent up stress. And a good habit to do some chintan baithak from time to time.

[dr.jayakumar]

To convince my poor friend Rustom (name changed to protect his insanity) that they were going to ask him to recite the entire Bombay Telephone Directory in his English Poetry Oral Exam.
well who is this rustom?..RUSTOM
DR.JK

[xl_target]

I have experienced some of this madness.

[Mack The Knife]

It's probably the same madness that gave India its first Field Marshal and some spine to the armed forces in form of ol' boy Sammy. Viva la Bawa Madness !

Sam Maneckshaw wasn't mad, he was merely thick skinned or so my father would rib one of his daughters (forget which one), when she would go on and on about how her dad stopped a few Nip bullets in the stomach.

I have experienced some of this madness.

I feel for you. Honestly, I do.

[Pran]

Good thread, Bawaji.

For a moment, I thought your account had been hacked.

I've seen the madness in your eyes every time you oil your toys before you replace them back in the cupboard. I admit I was mystified when I saw the effort you took to polish the stock of your Brno Hardhitter. You have an eye to spot imperfections that our eyes fail to notice.

On a brighter side, you have infected us (Me and Inder) with your contagious passion for shiny metal objects and the great outdoors. Not to mention the nasty look and occasional whacks we've gotten to get our basics and safety right.

Your 'unbearable' madness has definitely given us fond memories and passions we would like to take with us to the grave.

Pran

[Mack The Knife]

Not to mention the nasty look and occasional whacks we've gotten to get our basics and safety right.

BTW, I will most probably have my old Gypsy back in a month or so.

[Pran]

BTW, I will most probably have my old Gypsy back in a month or so.

Now, why on Earth would a city slicker need a gypsy?

Send her up here to the hills, where she rightfully belongs

[Mack The Knife]

Buy your own, peasant!

[Oggie]

Hey Mate,

I really enjoyed the read ! Very well put. Being married to a Parsi, I was able to mentally visualise some of the madness

[Mack The Knife]

Thankfully, for me, I wasn't married to a Bawi.

You deserve a medal!

[Skyman]

You appeared quite sane and exacting to me.I thought you were mean because you were having a mid life crisis.

[kalashnikovcult]

Rustom , I miss that madness very much here in indore ...my maasa was a parsi and having a few family friends who were parsi i grew up seeing their madness ! my colleague was a parsi woman , i remember her she was taking a 'storming' session with her team over sales target..yelling on top of her voice ..we dropped in to inform her that we have fried prawns getting ready in the mess..and the next minute the 'red hot' expressions on her face converted into a smile ..'guys excuse me , i need to go' and we rushed to the kitchen to devour the prawns !

[Mack The Knife]

You appeared quite sane and exacting to me.I thought you were mean because you were having a mid life crisis.

I will be meaner still if you dont get cracking with your studies. You have had a successful time fishing for sympathy and attention. Now hit those books and make sure the grind your parents have gone through to put you through college isn't wasted. If you can spend time with your computer, you can bloody well swat for your exams. Toughen up!

[Mack The Knife]

Kalashnikovcult,

In theory, a Sardar-Bawa combi should make for the craziest coots on the planet but so far my boys have proved this theory wrong. Did your cousins turn out to be exceptionally loony?