its shoping time for man
- nagarifle
- Old Timer
- Posts: 3404
- Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:43 pm
- Location: The Land of the Nagas
its shoping time for man
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Zellers. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Zellers.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2.July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6..August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8..August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you *people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9..September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose..
10.September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12.October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but certainly not least:
15.October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2.July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6..August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8..August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you *people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9..September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose..
10.September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12.October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but certainly not least:
15.October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
Nagarifle
if you say it can not be done, then you are right, for you, it can not be done.
if you say it can not be done, then you are right, for you, it can not be done.
- Moin.
- Poster of the Month - Sep '11 & Apr '13
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Re: its shoping time for man
Lollzlzzzz cracked me up
Good one Naga....
Regards
Moin.
Good one Naga....
Regards
Moin.
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. Camus
- TC
- Veteran
- Posts: 1805
- Joined: Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:50 am
- Location: Kolkata
Re: its shoping time for man
Richard stop killing us ...
TC
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- Almost at nirvana
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Re: its shoping time for man
Tips for many of us who visit shopping malls on request (command)
- nagarifle
- Old Timer
- Posts: 3404
- Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:43 pm
- Location: The Land of the Nagas
Re: its shoping time for man
heck man , not even started yetTC wrote:
Richard stop killing us ...
TC
Nagarifle
if you say it can not be done, then you are right, for you, it can not be done.
if you say it can not be done, then you are right, for you, it can not be done.
- gladiatorgarg
- Almost at nirvana
- Posts: 172
- Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:31 pm
- Location: india
Re: its shoping time for man
i fell down from my sofaaa the last one bring more naga ur theee maaann