How to Catch an Elephant
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- Veteran
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- Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:11 pm
- Location: Fairbanks, Alaska
How to Catch an Elephant
The recent post about the rogue elephant has reminded me of two ways of catching elephants, learned from my younger siblings many years ago.
Method One
Supplies needed: High-powered binoculars. Tweezers. Glass jar.
1. Locate the elephant, looking through the OBJECTIVE of your binoculars. This may take some time.
2. After locating the elephant, keeping him in sight, pick up your tweezers.
3. Keeping your eyes on the elephant, gently pick him up with the tweezers and drop him into the jar.
Method Two
Supplies Needed: Pick and shovel, a bucket of ash, a bunch of bananas.
1. In an area frequented by elephants, dig a large circular hole, deep enough for the a kneeling elephant not quite
to be able to reach the bottom with his trunk.
2. Sprinkle the ash over the bottom of the hole, and drop in the bananas.
3. Staying well hidden and out of sight, watch for approaching elephants.
4. When an elephant comes by, he will smell the bananas and kneel at the edge of the hole to get them.
5. Now carefully sneak up behind him, and simply kick him into the ash hole.
Method One
Supplies needed: High-powered binoculars. Tweezers. Glass jar.
1. Locate the elephant, looking through the OBJECTIVE of your binoculars. This may take some time.
2. After locating the elephant, keeping him in sight, pick up your tweezers.
3. Keeping your eyes on the elephant, gently pick him up with the tweezers and drop him into the jar.
Method Two
Supplies Needed: Pick and shovel, a bucket of ash, a bunch of bananas.
1. In an area frequented by elephants, dig a large circular hole, deep enough for the a kneeling elephant not quite
to be able to reach the bottom with his trunk.
2. Sprinkle the ash over the bottom of the hole, and drop in the bananas.
3. Staying well hidden and out of sight, watch for approaching elephants.
4. When an elephant comes by, he will smell the bananas and kneel at the edge of the hole to get them.
5. Now carefully sneak up behind him, and simply kick him into the ash hole.
- hamiclar01
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Re: How to Catch an Elephant
"Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars."
- dev
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Re: How to Catch an Elephant
Its a little like the time that I came face to face with a Tiger.
I had nothing but my lethal hands with me.
Ay first i thought that I would have to kill him to save myself. My plan was to hold some meat in my left hand and let him smell it. Once the Tiger began to think about the meal and what the meat was. I would spring the next part of my plan.
Using my right fist in a blur of concentrated strength (breathing and drawing on all of my Ki at once), I would grab his tail through his mouth and pull with all my might. He would soon be inside out and venerable to a quick finger jab to his heart.
Just then the wildlife act came back to my mind. The darn stripes were a protected animal...
And so I walked to the next cage.
Regards,
Dev
I had nothing but my lethal hands with me.
Ay first i thought that I would have to kill him to save myself. My plan was to hold some meat in my left hand and let him smell it. Once the Tiger began to think about the meal and what the meat was. I would spring the next part of my plan.
Using my right fist in a blur of concentrated strength (breathing and drawing on all of my Ki at once), I would grab his tail through his mouth and pull with all my might. He would soon be inside out and venerable to a quick finger jab to his heart.
Just then the wildlife act came back to my mind. The darn stripes were a protected animal...
And so I walked to the next cage.
Regards,
Dev
To ride, to speak up, to shoot straight.
- vivekpeter
- On the way to nirvana
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Re: How to Catch an Elephant
How to catch a Crane?
Take some butter with you. Approach the crane stealthily from behind. Put the butter on the cranes head, and wait for it to melt and cover its eyes. Then grab it when it is blind!!!!!!
Gun control??!!
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- Poster of the Month - Aug 2011
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Re: How to Catch an Elephant
Why didn't anyone think of this before?
BTW the Rogue is still at large. Three elephants from Corbett and officials from the forest dept. are trying to track him,but haven't found him yet.
- ckkalyan
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Re: How to Catch an Elephant
Good ones, gentlemen!
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns!