Wild Love Triangle

[Sakobav]

Pretty funny short story from The Week magazine

http://week.manoramaonline.com/cgi-bin/ ... Id=7342998

THE NONSENSE FILE

By The Colonel

In all my nomadic life in the Army, I have never seen a tiger in the wild. Hence, the fascination for this incident.
A young officer named Charles was sent for a short course at the Chemical Warfare School at Pachmarhi during the British Raj. The officer reported on a Saturday afternoon and was allotted a room in the Officers’ Mess. The course was to start on Monday and he had the weekend at his disposal to reconnoitre the place and settle down.

While strolling to the club house he heard the wails of a girl in distress. Charles rushed to the place and found a beautiful young girl, in a pair of brief shorts and a shirt slightly small for her, trying to protect her pet dachshund from a stray dog’s attack. The chivalrous Charles chased away the stray dog and won Maggie’s heart then and there. She was the sporting sort and on the same day they went through tennis, dinner, and dance at the club. A glorious beginning indeed.

Maggie was a dasher. Within a week, she suggested a picnic dinner. “Why not tonight?” exclaimed Charles, who was not the sort of person who would let an opportunity go. Maggie was to bring her daddy’s car and Charles was to arrange the packed dinner from the mess. And off they went. Charles, in his mind’s eye, had already chosen a spot for their romance. It was the suicide point. He reversed the car and parked it 20ft from the suicide point.

While trying to put a durrie on the ground, Charles saw some pug marks. Though quite clueless about wildlife or jungle warfare, he casually announced to Maggie that those were a tiger’s pug marks. The marks stretched towards suicide point and there were no return marks. Maggie mused that the tiger might have committed suicide. She remained in the car while Charles went for a reconnaissance of their romance point. In the scrub, at the suicide point, he was shell-shocked to find a tiger staring at him from an arm’s length with muscles rippling, ready to pounce on him. Charles bolted, rushed into the car, and moved off in record time.

Apparently, the tiger was more shocked than Charles. He pounced even as Charles bolted. He was, however, aiming for a safe getaway. The tiger landed right on top of the car as both the parties had only the same route to safety. The animal scratched and heaved at the roof and Charles zigzagged to throw the tiger off.

The roof was almost caving in when Maggie’s brain worked. She pulled the handbrake and the tiger tipped across the bonnet to disappear into the jungle. They drove straight back to the club house to face Maggie’s daddy, who was in a forgiving mood thanks to her bravado, which was the talking point of the little cantonment for quite some time. It is a pity, though, that we have no further record of their romance.

[brihacharan]

Hi ngrewal,
> Great story mate!
> Now will you let the "CAT" out of the bag? (Maggie let it off the bonnet!!!)
> Did Charles & Maggie tie the knot & lived happily everafter?
> On the lighter side "Charles & Maggie escaped by a whisker"!!!
> And ofcourse the "Tiger was no bee on the bonnet"!!!
Cheers
Brihacharan

[m24]

Nice read. Reminds me of the stories out of good old Champak and Tinkle!!

Regards

[nagarifle]

yes Maggie and Charles did tie the knot, had eight kids, and lived to rip old age of 102. a very happy ending.

[shooter]

It is a pity, though, that we have no further record of their romance.

Did Charles & Maggie tie the knot & lived happily everafter?

Depends on who writes the ending:

Sooraj Barjatya: They get married at a lavish wedding with a lot of dancing and celebration.

Yash Chopra: They go to Swtizerland and her father has her hitched to another officer who also loves her but she finally marries Charles

Ramesh Sippy: He gets posted in a place where there are a lot of dacoits who kidnap Maggie. Charles kills the dacoits, rescues her and they get married. Charles however loses his leutinent in the skirmish.

Shaym and Tulsi Ramsay: Maggie is actually a vampire who wants to drink his blood. A priest tells him in time and together they kill her.

Prakash Jha: They want to get married but Charles fights the red tape, beureaucracy, corruption first.

Rakesh Roshan: Charles goes to war and dies. Maggie is devastated. After a year Charles returns to avange his wounding; then they marry.

David Dhawan: Maggies father tells Charles he can only marry her if he fulfills a condition. What follows is a hilarious riot of twists and turns before Charles succeeds and marries her.

Mahesh Bhatt: Charles dumps her and then she finds she is pregnant. The child grows up to be a rebel.

Guru Dutt: Maggies father is a general and Lord Ashton likes maggie and the general agrees for her to marriy him. Charles goes into depression, pines for maggie and dies of self neglect.

Mehboob Khan: They marry, have 2 kids. Then Charles dies in a war. Family is ruined but Maggy works hard to bring up the 2 kids.

[prashantsingh]

Funny story.
There is an equally funny story of one of my uncles R P Singh (pet name Robin).
Robin Chacha's father was an Imperial Police officer .When posted in Lucknow as a DIG his favourite passtime , like many others, was Shikar.
As a young kid in his early teens Robin would join his dad for most hunts. This time they were out for Cheetal . They were in the Terai jungles on Elephant back.
Robin was busy admiring the "birds and the bees" when suddenly out from the thick undergrowth came a tiger.
Everyone ---from the DIG to the mahout and the elephant were taken by surprise. The elephant trumpeted and suddenly broke into reverse gear.
Robin had no clew as to what was happening and before he knew , he was thrown out of the "houda" (like a Paka hua Aam from a tree); landng right in front of the equally shocked tiger.
While Robin chacha sprinted in one direction , the tiger took off in the exactly opposite direction.

[m24]

Depends on who writes the ending:

Somebody's watching too much Zee cinema.

Regards

[Vikram]

Good stories gentlemen, and Shooter you have got all possible scenarios covered.


Best-
Vikram

[MoA]

yes Maggie and Charles did tie the knot, had eight kids, and lived to rip old age of 102. a very happy ending.

prove it..

[winnie_the_pooh]

yes Maggie and Charles did tie the knot, had eight kids, and lived to rip old age of 102. a very happy ending.

prove it..

Well, it did not end as the story of the p@#$y that got away

PS-Sorry could not resist that

[MoA]

yes Maggie and Charles did tie the knot, had eight kids, and lived to rip old age of 102. a very happy ending.

prove it..

Well, it did not end as the story of the p@#$y that got away

PS-Sorry could not resist that

Sooner or later they all get away. Dont sweat it..

[nagarifle]

Good stories gentlemen, and Shooter you have got all possible scenarios covered.


Best-
Vikram

shooter did not all scenarios, how about Maggie was from outer space and come to earth for .....they both fly away in a flying tea saucer

[MoA]

So where are the eight kids? How many grand children are there... where is the family tree?

[Vikram]

Good stories gentlemen, and Shooter you have got all possible scenarios covered.


Best-
Vikram

shooter did not all scenarios, how about Maggie was from outer space and come to earth for .....they both fly away in a flying tea saucer

I should have been more precise.Shooter got Bollywood covered and you started to do Hollywood.More please.