Indians For Guns

“AK-47, if you absolutely positively want to kill every m)*&^%$#@! in the room......give it to Michael J. Fox”

~ Samuel L. Jackson

The AK-47, also known as the "Anna Kournikova just lost 4-7" or as "Automatika Kalaschnikoviza", is called so because there are as many AK-47s in the world as there are pictures of Anna Kournikova (nude). Uncle sam was once given an AK47 by a space invader (the one that always flys by on the top real fast). Owing to the the fact that most of the Russian population had been killed during World War II, a random guy called Philosopholis Thompson was told to make the gun "idiot proof" as from then on the Red Army would be made up of children, the deformed or clinically insane. The gun has performed above and beyond its designer's wildest dreams having been used successfully by more idiots than any other gun before and since. It is usually chambered in 37.662mm (934x39.3.14159 cartridge, but owing to the unique socialist origins of the weapon it can actually be chambered to fire anything. In some cases, this weapon has been known to be able to fire 18-inch naval shells with surprising little recoil. It is a low-cost, highly durable children's toy and rumored to be the most widely used, copied and mass produced toy of all time. In 2004 George W. Bush has named the rifle part of the "Axis of Evil" and insisted that the gun itself is a wanted terrorist. Bush has thus far successfully avoided any contact with the AK-47 by skillfully avoiding service in the Vietnam war and also constantly rejecting the gun's application for a permanent seat on the United Nations Security council.

AK-47 is a symbol in popular culture. It can be seen on the national flag of Mozambique, where it is used both for national defence and for plowing. It is also a main ingredient in the countries national dish. Similarly, Hezbollah have chosen to have Hassan Nasrallah hold the weapon in their logo, based on their belief that it is the holy weapon Prophet Salsalmayala used to fight the Evil Star Troopers.

It is primarily used by anyone who hates America...therefore, anyone who uses it must be a terrorist or a commie. However, no real Nazi would ever use it; they'd rather use an MP-40 any day. Because, as you should know, that the MP-40 is Jesus in a gun.

"In Soviet Russia, AK-47 shoots you!!!!!!"