List of weapons that don't exist, and shouldn't...
Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:23 pm
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Killer Bee Rifle
A modified M-1 rifle developed by the USA for use in the trenches and brothels of WW2. This weapon was the brainchild of the top scientists in West Virginia, who reasoned that God made bullets to only go in one direction, while bees were able to fly in multiple directions (a discovery that was highly controversial in that state). Knowing this, they dared to make a weapon that need only be fired in the general vicinity of the target; the ammunition would take care of the rest. During the testing stages, honey bees were used and the results were delicious disastrous. Despite official skepticism, the scientists pressed on and pushed for all the funding they could get, citing the fact that Rudolph Hitler was allergic to bees. Begrudgingly, Franklin Dysentery Roosevelt granted them the gold needed to perfect their technology, and the Killer Bee Rifle (KBR) was born.
The KBR works just like any other rifle, except that the shooter wears a protective glove which enables him to handle said Killer Bees. Each bee is loaded into the rifle one at a time, and is then immediately fired before it has a chance to realize what the hell is going on. Accuracy was non-crucial, as the bee would do the rest of the work (as soon as it got over the fact that it had just spiraled through a metal tube at 700 mph). Regardless, researchers did the best they could to make the projectile fly as straight as possible once it was shot out of the rifle. Tiny hats made of tinfoil were put on the heads of bees, but the results proved only mildly more effective and the process of making tinfoil helmets for thousands of bees was far too tedious (even for the army). One Staff Sergeant had this to say about the matter: "they look like little black and yellow tin men...creeps me the hell out."
The rate of fire was unfortunately painfully slow, though it was rumored that plans were drawn up to utilize a "drum clip", similar to that of the "Tommy Tutone gun." The idea was allegedly scratched when soldiers proved hesitant (read: too candy-assed) to hold a weapon that had a metal drum filled with pissed off killer bees. Ultimately, it's inefficiency and lack of effectiveness against German tanks doomed the KBR, forcing it to be destroyed (along with it's ammunition).
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/List ... _shouldn't
Killer Bee Rifle
A modified M-1 rifle developed by the USA for use in the trenches and brothels of WW2. This weapon was the brainchild of the top scientists in West Virginia, who reasoned that God made bullets to only go in one direction, while bees were able to fly in multiple directions (a discovery that was highly controversial in that state). Knowing this, they dared to make a weapon that need only be fired in the general vicinity of the target; the ammunition would take care of the rest. During the testing stages, honey bees were used and the results were delicious disastrous. Despite official skepticism, the scientists pressed on and pushed for all the funding they could get, citing the fact that Rudolph Hitler was allergic to bees. Begrudgingly, Franklin Dysentery Roosevelt granted them the gold needed to perfect their technology, and the Killer Bee Rifle (KBR) was born.
The KBR works just like any other rifle, except that the shooter wears a protective glove which enables him to handle said Killer Bees. Each bee is loaded into the rifle one at a time, and is then immediately fired before it has a chance to realize what the hell is going on. Accuracy was non-crucial, as the bee would do the rest of the work (as soon as it got over the fact that it had just spiraled through a metal tube at 700 mph). Regardless, researchers did the best they could to make the projectile fly as straight as possible once it was shot out of the rifle. Tiny hats made of tinfoil were put on the heads of bees, but the results proved only mildly more effective and the process of making tinfoil helmets for thousands of bees was far too tedious (even for the army). One Staff Sergeant had this to say about the matter: "they look like little black and yellow tin men...creeps me the hell out."
The rate of fire was unfortunately painfully slow, though it was rumored that plans were drawn up to utilize a "drum clip", similar to that of the "Tommy Tutone gun." The idea was allegedly scratched when soldiers proved hesitant (read: too candy-assed) to hold a weapon that had a metal drum filled with pissed off killer bees. Ultimately, it's inefficiency and lack of effectiveness against German tanks doomed the KBR, forcing it to be destroyed (along with it's ammunition).