war story

[deepinder]

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when
his telephone rang.

"Hello, Mr. Bush!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is Gurmukh from
Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform you that
we are officially declaring the war on you!"

"Well, Gurmukh," Bush replied, "This is indeed important news! How big
is your army"

"Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, "there is
myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire
kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight"

Bush paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."

"Arrey O! Main kya.." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.

"Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh" Bush asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor."



Bush sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
1-1/2
million since we last spoke."

"Oh teri...." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.

"Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves
airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of
shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school
pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!"

Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by laser-guided,surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.

"Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off
the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart"

"Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of
lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of
wars!"


NOW THAT'S CALLED JATT CONFIDENCE!!!

[mundaire]

Nice one... the last time I read this joke, it was about a couple of Irishmen declaring war on France....

[deepinder]

surd , irish and polish jokes go around
cos each of these communities have the ability to have a good laugh
even if the joke is on them

[Grumpy]

Yeah, the version I sent out last week.....or the week before.....featured a pair of Micks and the French President. The joke has been around for a while and I`ve seen versions in which a pair of Micks declare war on the USA and another in which a couple of `Polacks` ( Polish/Americans ) declare war on Russia.
The evolution of jokes is interesting and a very high percentage come from just four sources: In the UK jokes featuring the Irish: In the USA, jokes featuring either the Polacks or Minnesota Scandinavians and Jewish jokes which invariably are told by Jews about themselves. The Irish jokes are particulary noteworthy because very many of them are based on - or evolve into - jokes that the Irish themselves tell about Kerry men - Couny Kerry in the South West of Ireland.
Deepinder makes a very good point in that those nationals that feature in so many jokes - the English, Irish, Jewish, and`Polacks` - are themselves responsible for the jokes `against` themselves. It`s difficult to mock those who mock themselves I suppose.
The internet is a remarkable tool for disseminating information.......and disinformation as well unfortunately. I`ve no idea why so many people find it necessary to insist that something is `true` when it`s patently obvous that it is no such thing.......or to credit something to a source that it definitely isn`t - a well known recent example was a videoclip of dangerous driving that was supposedly in the USA when it was very apparent that the cars - and roads - featured were, in fact, German.
That jokes evolve to suit particular nationalities seems rather sensible ...... - and almost charming - to me.