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Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 12:01 am
by prashantsingh
Got this mail today from a friend.
It was rather funny and had the most fantatic MAPS / GUNS and SNAPS to go with it.
Any takers on IFG?
Cheers,
Prashant


L u x u r y C r u i s e L i n e s

Now Accepting Reservations! Additional cruise information available below.





To The Point Cruise Lines is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise,
along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia





Ultimate Adventure Cruise Route
Rates and Availability










Ship Name
Starting Price
Days
Availability

Sun Splendor
$5,200.00
5
Fully Booked

Grand Voyage
$6,150.00
7
Reservations Available

Horizons IV
$7,091.00
10
Reservations Available

Horizons III
$5,200.00
7
Fully Booked

Grand Voyage II
$6,300.00
7
Fully Booked

Grand Voyage III
$5,200.00
5
Reservations Available

Coastal Paradise
$5,200.00
7
Reservations Available

Coastal Paradise II
$8,200.00
10
Reservations Available

Peril Princess
$5,200.00
7
Fully Booked

Peril Princess II
$5,200.00
7
Reservations Available


We board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea ,
and disembark in Mombasa Kenya , seven adrenaline-charged days later.
Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room)
and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest).






You'll relax like never before!

That's because you are welcome to bring
your own arsenal with you.
If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith.

Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon,
with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!


But the best fun of all, of course, is...





...Pirate Target Practice!



The object of our cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!





Weapons rentals:







Weapon Selection
Price
Description

AK-47 Light Assault
$12.00
Per Day
On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day
with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:

M-16 Full Automatic
$25.00
Per Day
Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo
attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:

Barrett M-107 50 Caliber
$59.00
Per Day
Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 50-cal rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo
affordably priced at only $29.95.

RPG Launcher
$175.00
Per Day
Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day
with three fragmentation rounds included!
A true favorite among pirates, rent one today and show you care!






Customer Testimonials



"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two,
and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun.
This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family"-- Fred D., Cincinnati , OH

"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Ben L., Bethesda , MD

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Twin mounted mini-guns are available for rental
at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!






Additional Cruise Line Services

· Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour.
(spotting scope included, but gratuities are not)

· Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment -
and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am

· Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar





OUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEE!






We guarantee you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates
or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombasa .

How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia ,
thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever.
In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility
by Somali mother ships.
We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire Somali Coast .
At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes, with loud disco music
directionally beamed shore side to attract maximum attention.





ACT NOW!

Cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly. Reserve your package before Mar 28th and get a great bonus -
100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice! So sign up for the Ultimate SomaliCoast Adventure Cruise now!





BUT THERE'S EVEN MORE!




Reserve Now -and be automatically entered to win a 5 minute time slot on the Captain's own Twin Browning 50 Caliber M2HB installation!

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in ' Nam . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates...
they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim...
Come on board and bag your own clutch of genuine Somali pirates!"

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:11 am
by alfaromeo17
Sounds Like a dream Voyage...lol

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:11 am
by hvj1
:evil: See this is what I mean, when people have too much of a good time. Very shortly these uncontrolled unbridled fools are gonna cull the entire somali pirate big game. The need of the times therefore is, that cruise ship owners and the SOmali govt. should sit down and work out a schedule, whereby sufficient time between each cruise is given for the pirates to breed , recruit. Thus ensuring game in plenty. Not just killing them en masse!

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:15 am
by essdee1972
Good, at least the Indian Navy has some help now. :D

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:22 pm
by shooter
it has been doing the rounds on the internet for some time now, in many different forms. and believe it or not,the first time i heard about it, i wanted to register for it :!:

however since there wasnt any cont detail so i went to ask my friend google and discovered its a hoax.

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:47 pm
by Bespoke
Too bad they dont carry a line of Fine doubles ! :x

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:09 pm
by ckkalyan
Good one Prashant, Hilarious! ROTFL

If you want to see the original article with pictures go to:

http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/3617/85/

THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE CRUISE
Written by To The Point News, Thursday, 07 May 2009

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:23 pm
by prashantsingh
Thanks Kalyan. Thats exactly what i was talking about. The whole thing looks so much better with all those photographs.

Bespoke. I know your love for doubles. I would use one for a hunt but would surely prefer an automatic when dealing with the pirates

shooters. I can't believe that you actually took the bait. lol

That was really funny hvj 1........."Somali Govt." .........Do they actually have a Govt.?

essdee and alfaromeo ...wouldn't we all love to do some social service.

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 11:49 pm
by Bespoke
Prashant,

Sure cover me with your Automatic.I want to see effect on .600 NE on a pirate plus incase of charge an automatic might jam but double will have that second shot ready :mrgreen:

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 1:20 am
by ckkalyan
Prashant, Bespoke,

I think the perfect weapon that could suit the both of you, provide significant fire-power on a Luxury Cruise off Somali waters as well as impart that feeling of extreme glee - could be the AA-12 Russian! It is a single, a double and a multiple, with a huge choice of ammo, waterproof, zero maintenance (heaven)! Watch and enjoy! :lol:

[youtube][/youtube]

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:23 pm
by shooter
shooters. I can't believe that you actually took the bait. lol
well not on this one but when it (well a similar one actually) surfaced on the net a few years ago, It looked like a nice opportunity to go and shoot and actually become a 'shooter'

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:58 pm
by peterdk
dont worry we will make a shooter out of you yet, many things in africa one can shoot, some you can even import as trophys others not so much :)

peter

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:36 pm
by dr.jayakumar
i hope that the pirate part was some sort of joke.

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:54 pm
by ckkalyan
dr.jayakumar wrote:i hope that the pirate part was some sort of joke.
Dr.JK - the whole thing was a colossal joke! And in my opinion, a very clever and well thought out one - what imagination - Kudos to the creator! :lol:

Re: Luxury Cruise

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:12 pm
by prashantsingh
ckkalyan
That's a lethal BUT ugly looking shot gun.
I like the way our man says
"There is no more deadly weapon system in the world than a Russian with two AA 12 s . Keep in mind , don't try it at home. I am a professional Russian."

Oh, those Russians !