Sub: Refusal to Grant Arms Licence

[nagarifle]

this was pass on to me from a friend. how to ask for reason for the refusal of arms licence.

Sub: Refusal to Grant Arms Licence

Respected Sub-Moronic Imbecile,

With incredible spasms of consternation, I have learnt through sources other than your moth-eaten cubby-hole of an office, that my application for an arms license was summarily rejected by the apparent top-honcho (ar*e wipe -by my definition) in your bag-of-bollocks department.

As tempted I am, to give that senile-dotard a kick up his mouldy rump for being a total black-holey sink of public money, I will refrain from doing so, since I place my level of existence a century and a half ahead of yours. Conversely, I also reserve the moral and divine right to be condescending and patronizing of you and your herd of petty rat baggers.

I do not wish to foul the ambience surrounding my being, by addressing that dyspeptic old fogy of a Chief Secretary directly. So this is my wish that a miserable sod of a minion is more appropriate to the task. Why even call it a task? It's not proper to be derogatory to an innocent word as such. Simply tell that bloody gob-stopper to detail the reasons, for the disinclination to comply with my simple and reasonable application (How much I condescend!) . The reasons are to be presented to me in written because the blithering law of the land says so. If the scallywag puts up a pretentious charade of not being convinced, tell the good-for-nothing-wog to look up Arms Act 1959, Section 14, sub section 3. If the reprobate-fart still disagrees, I'm sorry but the President of India has ceremoniously commissioned an illiterate lout to run this sorry country.

Additionally, I happen to know a Supreme Court Judge who is not among the corrupt. Tell the jackass and the bleeding home department (whatever that aberration is) crab apples, that a supremely humiliating case will not be long in coming should my request be declined again.

Yours Faithfully,
Have much to cry about

[OverUnderPump]

[grewal]

Holy crap. What's going to happen to this country. At the end we will have to leave for greener pastures .

[dev]

What an amazing piece of penmanship. I could almost imagine this reply being written by P.G. Wodehouse.
But then one of the commandments also reads:'Thou shall not cast pearls before swine.' This amazing piece should be framed and kept as an example of how to keep one's humour while confronted by pickled mushrooms.

You made my day Richard .

[thomast1]

well penned Naga..Nice..
Thomas

[nagarifle]

sorry but am not the author of such articals. however i will convey your feels to the rightful owner.

[kb100]

Brilliant! I will buy the author a bottle of the finest if he actually serves this on them dudes!

[nagarifle]

Brilliant! I will buy the author a bottle of the finest if he actually serves this on them dudes!

thats one bottle of finest eastern Scotland codlighish then. as already serverd the cost per bottle is $600

[vrohan59]

One bottle of the finest Russian vodka to the author

[m24]

[kb100]

Brilliant! I will buy the author a bottle of the finest if he actually serves this on them dudes!

thats one bottle of finest eastern Scotland codlighish then. as already serverd the cost per bottle is $600

OUCH! ... Lemmme see if I can source that in Dharaavi!

[nagarifle]

[prashantsingh]

Good one Naga.
Personally I did not have a problem with my Arms Licences.
But I could use this draft to write a similar letter to the American Embassy.....(with a few changes).
They have already rejected my application for a "tourist visa" twice though none of the other countries I have visited appear to have a problem with me.
Cheers.

[hvj1]

Hey Naga,
Pretty awesome write up.
Regards

[nagarifle]

wow just come across some old stuff so had to bring it up for the fools day