Indians For Guns

A host of new drive through cash points is set to sweep through the country, and the national association of bankers has issued the following guidelines to ensure full, efficient use of this new system when it becomes operational in the new year:
MEN:
1. Pull up to Automatic Drive Through Cash Machine
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number
4. Take cash, card and receipt
WOMEN:
1. Pull up to Automatic Drive Through Cash Machine
2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in handbag
5. Get out of car because you’re too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in handbag
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in handbag for old receipt with PIN number written on it.
9. Enter PIN number
10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes
11. Hit “cancel”
12. Re-enter correct PIN number
13. Check balance
14. Look for deposit envelope
15. Look in handbag for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Sign cheques
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys.
24. Start car
25. Check makeup
26. Start pulling away
27. STOP
28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and receipt
31. Get back in car
32. Put card in wallet
33. Put receipt in chequebook
34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in chequebook
35. Clear area in handbag for wallet and chequebook
36. Check makeup
37. Put car in reverse gear
38. Put car in drive
39. Drive away from machine
40. Travel 3 miles
41. Release handbrake

There is one I read a long time ago. (when ATMs were recently introduced in India).

While the MEN typed their numbers when the machine asked them to "ENTER PIN".

The WOMEN
shoved their HAIR PINs into the machines instead .

Very true!

Woman seen pushing credit card into the floppy drive of her PC, and pulling it out again.

Male colleague: Hey, what are you doing?

Woman: I am shopping on ebay. This goddam thing is asking for credit card number, so I am trying the ATM thingie....