Wild Love Triangle
Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:52 am
Pretty funny short story from The Week magazine
http://week.manoramaonline.com/cgi-bin/ ... Id=7342998
THE NONSENSE FILE
By The Colonel
In all my nomadic life in the Army, I have never seen a tiger in the wild. Hence, the fascination for this incident.
A young officer named Charles was sent for a short course at the Chemical Warfare School at Pachmarhi during the British Raj. The officer reported on a Saturday afternoon and was allotted a room in the Officers’ Mess. The course was to start on Monday and he had the weekend at his disposal to reconnoitre the place and settle down.
While strolling to the club house he heard the wails of a girl in distress. Charles rushed to the place and found a beautiful young girl, in a pair of brief shorts and a shirt slightly small for her, trying to protect her pet dachshund from a stray dog’s attack. The chivalrous Charles chased away the stray dog and won Maggie’s heart then and there. She was the sporting sort and on the same day they went through tennis, dinner, and dance at the club. A glorious beginning indeed.
Maggie was a dasher. Within a week, she suggested a picnic dinner. “Why not tonight?” exclaimed Charles, who was not the sort of person who would let an opportunity go. Maggie was to bring her daddy’s car and Charles was to arrange the packed dinner from the mess. And off they went. Charles, in his mind’s eye, had already chosen a spot for their romance. It was the suicide point. He reversed the car and parked it 20ft from the suicide point.
While trying to put a durrie on the ground, Charles saw some pug marks. Though quite clueless about wildlife or jungle warfare, he casually announced to Maggie that those were a tiger’s pug marks. The marks stretched towards suicide point and there were no return marks. Maggie mused that the tiger might have committed suicide. She remained in the car while Charles went for a reconnaissance of their romance point. In the scrub, at the suicide point, he was shell-shocked to find a tiger staring at him from an arm’s length with muscles rippling, ready to pounce on him. Charles bolted, rushed into the car, and moved off in record time.
Apparently, the tiger was more shocked than Charles. He pounced even as Charles bolted. He was, however, aiming for a safe getaway. The tiger landed right on top of the car as both the parties had only the same route to safety. The animal scratched and heaved at the roof and Charles zigzagged to throw the tiger off.
The roof was almost caving in when Maggie’s brain worked. She pulled the handbrake and the tiger tipped across the bonnet to disappear into the jungle. They drove straight back to the club house to face Maggie’s daddy, who was in a forgiving mood thanks to her bravado, which was the talking point of the little cantonment for quite some time. It is a pity, though, that we have no further record of their romance.
http://week.manoramaonline.com/cgi-bin/ ... Id=7342998
THE NONSENSE FILE
By The Colonel
In all my nomadic life in the Army, I have never seen a tiger in the wild. Hence, the fascination for this incident.
A young officer named Charles was sent for a short course at the Chemical Warfare School at Pachmarhi during the British Raj. The officer reported on a Saturday afternoon and was allotted a room in the Officers’ Mess. The course was to start on Monday and he had the weekend at his disposal to reconnoitre the place and settle down.
While strolling to the club house he heard the wails of a girl in distress. Charles rushed to the place and found a beautiful young girl, in a pair of brief shorts and a shirt slightly small for her, trying to protect her pet dachshund from a stray dog’s attack. The chivalrous Charles chased away the stray dog and won Maggie’s heart then and there. She was the sporting sort and on the same day they went through tennis, dinner, and dance at the club. A glorious beginning indeed.
Maggie was a dasher. Within a week, she suggested a picnic dinner. “Why not tonight?” exclaimed Charles, who was not the sort of person who would let an opportunity go. Maggie was to bring her daddy’s car and Charles was to arrange the packed dinner from the mess. And off they went. Charles, in his mind’s eye, had already chosen a spot for their romance. It was the suicide point. He reversed the car and parked it 20ft from the suicide point.
While trying to put a durrie on the ground, Charles saw some pug marks. Though quite clueless about wildlife or jungle warfare, he casually announced to Maggie that those were a tiger’s pug marks. The marks stretched towards suicide point and there were no return marks. Maggie mused that the tiger might have committed suicide. She remained in the car while Charles went for a reconnaissance of their romance point. In the scrub, at the suicide point, he was shell-shocked to find a tiger staring at him from an arm’s length with muscles rippling, ready to pounce on him. Charles bolted, rushed into the car, and moved off in record time.
Apparently, the tiger was more shocked than Charles. He pounced even as Charles bolted. He was, however, aiming for a safe getaway. The tiger landed right on top of the car as both the parties had only the same route to safety. The animal scratched and heaved at the roof and Charles zigzagged to throw the tiger off.
The roof was almost caving in when Maggie’s brain worked. She pulled the handbrake and the tiger tipped across the bonnet to disappear into the jungle. They drove straight back to the club house to face Maggie’s daddy, who was in a forgiving mood thanks to her bravado, which was the talking point of the little cantonment for quite some time. It is a pity, though, that we have no further record of their romance.
